Understanding "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder": Meaning and Usage in English Idioms

Learning English idioms and expressions can be tricky, but it's key to sounding natural. Today, we're exploring a common phrase: "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder." This expression is used when someone intentionally ignores another person, often to show disapproval or displeasure. Understanding how to use it correctly can significantly improve your communication skills. In this post, you'll learn its meaning, when and how to use it, common mistakes, synonyms, and see it in action through example conversations. Let's dive in!

Understanding how to Give Someone The Cold Shoulder in English

Table of Contents

What Does "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" Mean?

The idiom "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" means to intentionally ignore someone or treat them in an unfriendly way, often as a sign of displeasure, disapproval, or because you are upset with them. It’s a deliberate act of social snubbing. Imagine someone turning their back – their shoulder – towards you as a way to avoid interaction.

More: Give Someone The Benefit Of The Doubt: An Essential English Idiom

When Should You Use "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder"?

This expression is primarily used in informal and semi-formal spoken English and informal writing (like emails to friends or social media posts). It describes a common social behavior when you want to ignore someone deliberately.

You would use "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" when talking about situations where someone is being ignored, for example:

  • After an argument: "She's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since our disagreement."
  • When someone is upset: "He gave his brother the cold shoulder for not inviting him to the party."
  • To show disapproval: "The manager gave the employee the cold shoulder after he missed the deadline."

However, it's generally not appropriate for very formal academic writing or official business correspondence. In such contexts, you might use more direct and less idiomatic language, like "The individual was ignored" or "Communication ceased." Using English idioms like this one adds color to everyday language but might sound out of place in highly formal settings.

Common Mistakes: Learners often make a few mistakes when trying to use this idiom. Here’s a table to help you avoid them:

Common MistakeWhy it's wrong / ExplanationCorrect Usage / How to Fix
"He gave me a cold shoulder." (Missing "the")The idiom is fixed as "the cold shoulder." Omitting "the" makes it sound incorrect."He gave me the cold shoulder."
"She cold-shouldered to me.""Cold-shoulder" can be used as a verb, but the structure "cold-shouldered to me" is awkward."She cold-shouldered me." or "She gave me the cold shoulder."
Using it for accidental ignoring.This idiom implies intentional behavior, often due to being upset or disapproving.If someone didn't see you, say: "I don't think he saw me." Use the idiom for deliberate acts.
Thinking it means physical coldness.The "cold" refers to emotional coldness or unfriendliness, not temperature.Focus on the idiomatic meaning: intentionally ignoring someone or being unfriendly.
Using "Give Someone A Cold Shoulder"The definite article "the" is crucial for this specific idiomatic phrase.Always use "the cold shoulder."

More: Mastering 'Give and Take': An Essential English Idiom Guide

How Do We Use "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder"?

Grammatically, "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" functions as a verb phrase. The core verb is "give," and "the cold shoulder" acts as the direct object, with "someone" being the indirect object. You can conjugate the verb "give" according to tense (gave, has given, will give, etc.).

Here are a couple of examples:

  • "After I forgot her birthday, Sarah gave me the cold shoulder for a week." (Past tense)
  • "Why are you giving him the cold shoulder? Did he do something wrong?" (Present continuous tense)

Understanding how to properly structure sentences with English idioms like "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" is crucial for fluency and to learn English expressions effectively.

The most common sentence patterns or structures:

Pattern/StructureExample Sentence using "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder"Brief Explanation
Subject + give + [Indirect Object] + the cold shoulder"My friend gave me the cold shoulder after our argument."This is the most common structure.
Subject + auxiliary verb + give + [I.O.] + the cold shoulder"She might give you the cold shoulder if you apologize insincerely."Used with modals (might, can, will) or auxiliaries (is, was, has).
To give + [I.O.] + the cold shoulder (infinitive)"It's not nice to give someone the cold shoulder without explanation."Using the idiom as an infinitive phrase, often as the subject or object of a verb.
Question form"Why did he give her the cold shoulder?"Standard question formation with "do/does/did" or other auxiliaries.

More: Get Wind Of Something: Meaning and Usage in English Idioms

Synonyms and Related Expressions for Ignoring Someone

While "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" is a popular way to describe ignoring someone, English offers other idiomatic phrases and expressions to convey similar ideas. Here are a few, along with their nuances:

Synonym/Related ExpressionNuance/Tone/FormalityExample Sentence
To snub someoneMore direct and can sound slightly more formal or serious than "give the cold shoulder.""She felt snubbed when he didn't greet her."
To ignore someoneA general term, neutral in tone. It doesn't necessarily imply ill will, unlike the idiom."He decided to ignore the rude comments."
To blank someoneVery informal (chiefly British English), means to pretend you don't see or know someone."I said hello, but he just blanked me!"
To ice someone outInformal, similar to "give the cold shoulder," emphasizing social exclusion."The group started to ice her out after the incident."
To send someone to CoventryBritish English, quite strong; means to refuse to speak to someone as a punishment."For breaking the rules, his colleagues sent him to Coventry."
To look right through someoneImplies ignoring someone so completely it's as if they are invisible."She was so angry, she looked right through him."

Example English Conversations

Let's see how "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" might be used in everyday chats. Notice how the context helps clarify the meaning.

Dialogue 1: At the Office

  • Alex: "Hey, have you noticed how Mark is behaving with Sarah today?"
  • Ben: "Yeah, he seems to be giving her the cold shoulder. I wonder what happened."
  • Alex: "Me too. They were fine yesterday. Maybe they had a disagreement about the project."
  • Ben: "Possibly. It's a bit awkward for everyone else, though."

Dialogue 2: Friends Talking

  • Chloe: "I can't believe Liam didn't even say hi to me at the party."
  • Daisy: "Really? Why would he give you the cold shoulder like that?"
  • Chloe: "I think he's still upset that I couldn't make it to his game last week. I tried to explain, but he's not listening."
  • Daisy: "Oh, that's tough. Hopefully, he'll come around soon."

Dialogue 3: Sibling Interaction

  • Older Sister: "Why are you giving your brother the cold shoulder? He looks pretty sad."
  • Younger Sister: "He broke my favorite toy and didn't even apologize!"
  • Older Sister: "I see. Well, ignoring him might not solve it. Maybe try talking to him about it?"
  • Younger Sister: "Hmm, maybe later. Right now, I just want him to know I'm upset."

Practice Time!

Ready to test your understanding and use of "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder"? Try these fun and engaging tasks! Choose the tasks that work best for you.

1. Quick Quiz! Choose the correct meaning or usage for "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" in the following sentences/options.

  • Question 1: If someone is "giving you the cold shoulder," they are likely:

    • a) Feeling cold and need a jacket.
    • b) Intentionally ignoring you.
    • c) Offering you a massage for your shoulder.
    • d) Sharing a cold drink with you.
  • Question 2: "Maria was ______ her colleague the cold shoulder after he took credit for her work."

    • a) giving
    • b) taking
    • c) making
    • d) showing
  • Question 3: The idiom "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" is most appropriately used in:

    • a) A formal scientific research paper.
    • b) A casual conversation with a friend.
    • c) A legal document.
    • d) A medical diagnosis.

(Answers: 1-b, 2-a, 3-b)

2. Idiom Match-Up Game (Mini-Game): Match the sentence beginnings in Column A with the correct endings in Column B:

Column A (Beginnings)Column B (Endings)
1. When his best friend forgot his birthday, Tom decided toa) being given the cold shoulder and didn't know why.
2. She felt hurt because she wasb) give him the cold shoulder for a few days.
3. "I don't understand why you'rec) giving me the cold shoulder!" he exclaimed.
4. It's not polite tod) give someone the cold shoulder without any explanation.

(Answers: 1-b, 2-a, 3-c, 4-d)

Conclusion: Navigating Social Nuances in English

Learning idioms like "Give Someone The Cold Shoulder" is more than just memorizing phrases; it's about understanding the cultural and social nuances of English communication. Knowing when and how to use such expressions helps you express yourself more precisely and understand native speakers better, making your social interactions feel more natural. It allows you to recognize subtle social cues and respond appropriately, improving your overall communication skills.

What's an idiom in your native language that describes a similar situation of ignoring someone? Share it in the comments below!